a tale of two cows

2008-11-29T00:47:00.002+08:00

as christmas approaches
it signals the end of yet
another equally traumatizing
year. how much has changed
since the previous christmas
and the one before that, im
just glad certain aspects are
left constant, like you me and jm.

2008-10-26T10:46:00.003+08:00

here i am again. today, let's talk about relationships. (sorry is it boring you two?)

i recognised my textbook facts in my life meaning don't you think that relationships are monopolies? because once we decide to set up a firm in an industry that has ceased to exist before, we are creating a monopoly. because it is a monpoly, i cannot better emphasize my point that it has to be extreme fidelity for me, nothing less but everything more. so a monopoly states that there is a single firm/producer in the industry. (forgive me for the vague definition, for all knowledge has been cast aside since the end of exams)

noting the need to remain as a monopolist, the firm (meaning parties involved: girl&girl, boy&girl, boy&boy) invests much as total costs. secondary commitments give way for the primary one, time morphs into a key reserved only for a specific door and emotions are subject to changes. so what are we left with? the firm's performance in the short and long run. theoretically, the firm earns supernormal profits in the long run but wait, let me survey the number of firms who are forced to shut down... rival firms break down barriers to entry, causing, revenue < total variable costs, meaning subnormal profits and as the monopoly expands, diseconomies of scale sets in, causing the monopoly to destruct from within. so i hope you guys see the link i have been trying to establish, profits in a monopoly is also what we commonly use to measure the quality of life, happiness.

so let me take a lesson away from econs, a monopolist should always learn to erect high barries of entry to shut out those fucking rival firms and that complacency will just lead to the firm compromising on its supernormal profits. however, i want to see the economy as a whole. seeing a monoply against a broader backdrop, life will still continue to function in case of the absence of such a monopoly because there will not be a situation in which we should continue operations when total revenue < total variable costs. why should we compromise on our happiness and keep operating for the second best? there will be another existing industry, another person out there for us to build our lives around so that supernormal profits can once again be earned.

i will end this off the usual way, be happy you two and i love you both.
<3, zhen.

2008-10-12T17:24:00.002+08:00

i am here to blog again because, kk is sleeping again and guess where am i? house. i am not complaining really, frumpy clothes at home was lacking the last time round, if you get what i mean. so what are we this time around?

this time round, i dont find myself forming a fixation about the past, i dont find myself spiralling towards self doubt. doesn't it feel good? yes, it certainly does.

i am bored. play psp.

maximizing

2008-10-08T21:05:00.002+08:00

im feeling very very happy now. :)

:D :D :D :D
:D :D :D :D
:D :D :D :D
:D :D :D :D

something about reading blog posts
from this blog makes me feel all
fuzzy inside, its the idea of privacy?

i foresee a big storm coming in my life,
i can see it from all the recent small sign;
i am bracing myself for what is to come,
though i might probably just fall anyway.
but at least you know i know that im expecting it.
i think i grew more reliant on the ideology
that i cannot control my own fate. hahaha.

your analogy sounds plausible.
although, technically, i wouldnt know.
neither she nor i have been in a relationship
and jm might be biased haha. sometimes i know
i believe that so long as the element of
like/ love/ adoration is present nothing can
possibly go too wrong, whoever the person may be.
which is why i am what i am. i tend to think that
true love indeed does exist and that it tends
towards the fairy-tale like love that you two
constantly describe mine as. that is, what i
believe, that no matter the temperate, love
in essence is still the same.

although, you two may be glad to know that
while i have this ideology embedded in
the sea of my heart, it is getting mined out.

it is impossible for such love to exist,
however much i would like it to, and
believe in it. ( it is ironic that i believe
and yet know its limited existence. )
because both ends of the stick (hot and cold)
are both equally as superficial, it is as
transient as love itself. both are mere
tools of us human kind to kill time, to make
merry and to add meaning to our pathetic lives.
both ends of the stick are only attracted to
well, attracted ends of the sticks. that is
simply the end. its impossible to ask any more
out of love than what is the mere superficial.

arent you two proud of me?
im no longer that dumb and foolish anymore.
by and by, i would like to add that
i am really REALLY craving yong tau foo right now
i was going to buy ytf today! but NOOOOO
my school canteen ran out of TOFU
whats the point of YTF if there is NO TOFU?
it should just be yong TO FU instead of
yong TAU FOO. :( going to eat yogurt now
i just ate like a quarter of a watermelon!

lyrics from a chinese song i believe
was an english song, but i like it anyway.
its quite an old song.

为你封了国境
为你赦了罪
为你撤了历史记载
为你涂了装扮
为你喝了醉
为你建了城池围墙

一颗热的心
穿着冰冷外衣
一张白的脸
漆上多少褪色的情节

在我的空虚身体里面
爱上哪个肤浅的王位
在你的空虚宝座里面
爱过什么女爵的滋味

2008-10-08T18:11:00.002+08:00

okay hello blog, do you feel neglected? sorry ):
i don't know why im typing like this but i guess i just want to make my post seem longer i guess,
i feel feverish omg sigh i hate being sick. cause unlike you, (who spends your life being sick) i am healthy and kicking most of the time i don't like to disrupt my lifestyle just cause i (very unwillingly) caught some motherfucker flu bug... and no i am not at home, once again i am spending my life at kk's house i come here almost every other day, it is my second home. i want to sleep very badly but kk is taking up the bed and he ordered me to switch off the lights and this is what you get, your best friend sitting in utter darkness blogging her sickness away.

WHY GOD WHY.

i have something to share with you: the choice of being a lemon and a non lemon can be clearly illustrated with the example of taking cold and hot showers. i dont know which is your preference, i am taking a wild guess that it is hot showers.

okay look at the parallel: hot=non lemon, cold=lemon. how do we explain this?

the thought of taking hot showers is appealing to me, i think about the steam, i think about the comfort of warm water upon my skin, i think of the warmth creeping upon me and taking away fatigue. likewise, being a non lemon brings upon such sensation as well, non lemons are the way we are supposed to be, the usual boy girl affair, the gushing... and it's so easy to choose hot showers and non lemon because it's readily available, it's the way things are supposed to be done, right? but non lemon and hot showers are so alike, they are so temporal. unlike cold showers, the comfort of hot showers melts away after i step out and there you go, i don't quite find myself committing it to memory. on the totally opposite side we have cold showers and lemons and it's easy to dismiss these two if you havent actually tried it. but when you find yourself caught in the situation (camping, stripped down and realised that the heater isn't on) you just have to take it as it comes. believe it or not, the feeling of a lemon can be said to be undeniable (dont you agree with me you two) and after much hesitation you just find yourself under the shower head and fuck, it is damn good cause knowledge tells us we are doing something wrong by lemoning but yet we are not restrained by others we cant see beyond our noses to receive disapproving stares. the cold water stings, but but but but but it is hell refreshing and after stepping out of it, i find my thoughts lingering upon what i went through. so what's your verdict? no i can't make up my mind, which very well justifies my identity HAHA

gtg, i think i am watching mamamia again with kk's family. i hope my analogy was good. love you two plenty plenty.

insects and repellent.

2008-08-04T13:02:00.003+08:00

life may suck, but i guess if we have each other, comfort will be there.
treason, bitterness, discontent, its all around, like little insects always
ready to bite you the minute you drop your guard. well, to those damn buggers,
at least, at least at the very least, i have my own insect repellent. it fails
me at times, i fail myself at times, i fail people at times, but you know.
you know, we are playing some macdonalds game now. argh.

2008-07-25T15:46:00.002+08:00

i am in mood of a one liner and a picture of a goldfish and that will be sufficient to convey all my current thoughts. but sigh, such an act would just mean that i am eroding, or rather the sensible, cynical, bitchy part of me is eroding to become a pool of nothingness.

dora is picking out her dvds in the library and we are going to be fucking late for friendly haha the bus is so going to leave without us.

as we continue to spy and covet... let us be immune to hurt and pain.

2008-07-13T22:55:00.002+08:00

watched hellboy on tv today

at some family friend bbq dinner gathering.

the girl was annoying, as in this small girl

at the party, spoilt little thing

but the girl in hellboy was a different story

damn cool and pretty, firegirl watashi think.

hahaha damn white, with bangs long hair

then a stare that can kill. hahaha

wonder why she likes hellboy.

hes so ugly. hahaha.

so watashi is prolly back to normal

afterall watashi is stuffing watermelon

in watashi mouth. haha.

...hmm watashi still dont really like msn

afterall. its too...okay words fail me now.

Great Expectations

2008-06-28T23:47:00.002+08:00

haha that was interesting.

sometimes you spend half your life slogging for something you desire
and then when you realize youre not even half as near as someone
who doesnt even do anything to attain that nirvana.

when i feel that, (against all odds and wishes)
and me succumbing (As usual) to my useless heart
i do agree that life is indeed unfair.

im sorry,
i hate how much i hate you.

明日なんて来ないようにと
願った夜　数え切れない
夢も愛も失くし雨に打たれたまま　
泣いてる, 泣いてる, 泣いてる.

2008-06-28T17:25:00.002+08:00

Come sit down class, today we will learn about the essay writing skills to tackle Section Z of Life 101.

Today's lesson topic:
"Life is ~~Fucking~~ unfair." How far do you agree to the above statement?

Before we actually start picking up our pens to agree with the above statement in an irrational manner, we do have to exercise our wonderful brain muscles and craft a flawless argument. As we have learnt in the previous lesson, the How dimension has to be tackled skilfully in order to persuade the markers effectively. To facilitate the lesson, Classmate Z has graciously offered us her life events as a casestudy. (sniggers)

Let's move on to the introduction. Defining key terms: life in this question obviously refers to the pathetic 17 years that you girls have lived and this includes a narrow scope of aspects such as Looks, Brains, Family, Friends and last but not least, the hot topic hugely relevant to teen girls' lives, Love. Another key term that we cannot afford to ignore: unfair. The definition of Unfairness differs for each individual. However for convenience sake, one standard yardstick for measuring Unfairness shall be used for this essay sample (which is also a contribution of Classmate Z) Unfairness: injustice by virtue of not being equitable. As cheem as it sounds, we should have a fairly clear idea of this word, considering the number of times we employ it to convey the sense of injustice we feel so often. All these should be included in your introduction.

The most important part of the essay: Thesis Statement. I believe you girls are familiar with this, it warrants no further elaboration. Moving on, thesis and anti-thesis which should be the meat of your Thesis Statement. As mentioned earlier, we have narrowed down the scope to five areas: Looks, Brains, Family, Friends and Love. In the casestudy that we are studying, we can sift out Friends and Family as our anti thesis, it is apparent that God has blessed Classmate Z with sisters who are ever willing to sacrifice time&money for her and friends like Classmate C and Classmate J to stand by her in times of fun, laughter&tears. Clearly, life is fair to Classmate Z in these two aspects and thus, it will be our anti-thesis to refute the idea that Life is ~~Fucking~~ unfair. As we can see, we are left with three areas which remain ambiguous. Firstly, Looks. Some may say some that Life has been fair to Classmate Z for her good looks but we have to question the validity of this. Are good looks always beneficial? Are there girls around with better looks? Of course there are, in fact plenty! Hence, it is subjective. We can either pull in the concept of Self-Love (which is a highly advanced theory for our level but no harm in trying) or make it our thesis. Secondly, Brains. It is highly recommended for students to use the Theory of Hard Work to make it your anti thesis. In fact, there is no excuse for you girls not to know this Theory by heart because it should be engraved in our minds ever since the start of this course! In my opinion, Brains is a strong anti thesis, it is an area that is most plausible to be determined by human effort.

Okay suppress your excitement, we are now tackling the last area: Love. A noteworthy observation about the areas of Life is seventeen years is our timeframe for our argument, we have to admit that the future still holds many unknowns that may or may not add to Unfairness. It will be an overgeneralisation to jump to the conclusion that Life is unfair, based on what 17 years has offered. Love, in this case, speaks most about this viewpoint. You girls will have to evaluate your individual casestudies. Before going on to our conclusion, Classmate Z has graciously (again) offered her viewpoint that Unfairness is only applicable when comparisions are being made. With unhealthy obsessive comparisions, more negative Emotions are generated which equate to Unfairness. (sniggers) I hope this helps to shed some light on the Theory of Comparative Advantage. And no, i have to emphasize that this is not a bit similar to the one your econs lecturer has taught you girls.

To round off today's lesson, i have a conclusion to offer you girls that Life is not always fair and this is different from Life is unfair. The beam that holds up the argument that Life is Unfair is there are always someone out there who is better, prettier, skinnier, smarter, richer, hotter, faster because the Theory of Comparative Advantage exists. However, it is up to human choice to limit the effects of this theory and exercise the concept of Self Love. An irony about this argument is a little comparision here and there do ignite a drive in humans to strive for better. Difficult it is, but ultimately each casestudy differs and i wish your girls the most luck in tackling your own casestudy and scoring your A in Life 101. My last advice is this essay may evoke extreme emotions within you girls do refrain from excessive usage of vulgarities in your essay.

That's all for you girls, Thank You. (:

2008-06-12T10:54:00.007+08:00

KKKOH CHOON MINNNN
such a futile state i am in
like a piece of land repeatedly
ploughed and nurtured
but yet reaping no results.

just came back from dream land
few days back
still having the post-concert blues.
the one from the previous one
was just as bad, if not worse.
im catching sex and the city today.
watched narnia yesterday,
the prince damn hot haha
what else, hmmm
cant wait to catch kung fu panda
hahahahahaha, jade nearly screamed
in horror when she found out.

bumped into jia's sister yesterday,
so different from the small girl
i used to talk to.
then again, what isnt different now
i bet i look a shit load different too.

don't, don't, don't go
don't leave, leave, leave me and go
i don't, don't have the courage
i fool my two, two, two, two, two hands
don't, don't, don't go
don't leave, leave, leave me and go
don't leave just yet, yet
i'm waiting for you like a fool, fool, fool, fool.

ahha sigh, i amaze myself sometimes
typical to the max you know.
i wonder if mz and jm will realize it
(or maybe they already do)
and ditch me as friends. haha.
i swear i have character????!!!

that aside
top is so good looking
gd is so good looking
the two should just get married. :)
i want fanfics nowwwww.

TOPPPPPPPP!

G- DRAGGONNNN

BIG BANG

BIG BANG MAKES ICE CREAM SO FAT-FREE. :)

i want that chanel necklace
and that globe necklace and top's pink backpack.
there are birds invading my house.
they flew in from the window
and they are chirping non stop
damn bloody annoying you know.
or should i say..
hOW CUTE. fuck.

&&BIG BANG <3333
(special decorations for jm if she reads)
they should play big bang in clubs,
like out of like dong bang, suju, etc etc jap wise..
big bang, some of ss501, se7en and m-flo
should be played in clubs.

2008-06-06T00:00:00.002+08:00

farewell post as...
all my bags are packed, im ready to go! :D
hahaha of course i meant that in your disgusting singing voice.

im quite happy with life now,
sure there are the dull and upset moments
but im sure its alright, i will grab myself
and shake myself to wake up and not be
so upset!
im feeling quite excited as i carry dolly tomorrow
towards the airport towards the terminal i have no idea
im supposed to be at! :D

anyway, thanks for making life so much
more fun and interesting for me mz. :)
miss me miss me miss me! :D

choonmin
p.s i got autoroam, so if something HUGE happens
you know you have to sms me.

2008-05-18T12:14:00.000+08:00

hey
my house got locker
and my sister got into nus law. :)

i am a happy girl

cm

2008-05-13T22:17:00.002+08:00

haha stupid mz,
i hate how you can easily
make me feel so
comforted and happy.
incredulously happy. :D

but its a 2 way thing.
so thank you very much too.

have i ever mentioned that
theres this ashlee simpson
song called undiscovered
i really like haha.
i swear her cd is good stuff.

i think its really amazing
how someone can blabble on
about someone's hatred
about how people change, about how
they hate superficial people
when they are truly..
describing themselves.
its freaking amusing.

2008-05-11T23:14:00.003+08:00

hello faceless lover
with the promise of your arrival
each day is tinted with colours
for you this wait is not my rival

belated thanks to you choonmin, for your phonecalls, for your silly analogies, for your sweets&masks&letter&scrub, for your siren-like reminders on how my future is bright ahead and how the dark past is beyond my reach, how life is better, how i can be better, how i can be stronger, how you are obliged to spend your free time with me (yes you still are), how you helped to reconstruct my life. as hard as i struggled, you struggled too and it made hell lot of difference. (:

2008-05-11T09:43:00.001+08:00

because there really isnt a
need for self doubt and self hate.
because if you dont help yourself
nobody will.

because of all that,
i keep trying.
i keep trying.

cm

2008-05-08T20:03:00.002+08:00

hate this heart of mine
for she works with fierce defiance

this is my second post in less than an hour, i really want to go boiler room but there's school tmr ): this lifestyle hinders me quite a lot sometimes. when i see with my eyes, the fear strucks me again. in fact, struck would be an inappropriate word to use here. the fear, like my heart, has a mind of its own. it seeps, it stains, it suffocates. this is when my brain kicks into action, ready to do damage control and wage bloody battles with my heart. yet, the heart being its ultmate conquest, is never the slave, is never the defeated. will it stay the same? no, i will not be the ball of your game.

2008-05-08T19:47:00.001+08:00

hello kawaiibuffalos,
this is your co-owner (:

<3

2008-05-07T21:59:00.000+08:00

there has been this robbery
at 7-11, near braddle mrt
i think i spelt that wrongly
but apparently, that guy
died trying to rob 7-11 of
6 packets of ciggs.

if you ask me,
thats like fucking
the worst way to die
fucking die cause of ciggs?
thats literally..smoking kills.

haha, so mz
are we going to publicize
kawaiibuffalos or not?

some photos from sat.
haha.

2008-05-06T22:47:00.000+08:00

so i edited the blog skin,
its 10.47 pm
im fucking tired
i have 2.4 tomorrow
but i hope youre okay with this skin!:D

cm

2008-05-05T21:37:00.000+08:00

test try test try!
i cannot remember the original password
i tried everything
so i got a new account!

i love this blog url! :D